All states now allow couples to divorce without one being abusive or unfaithful; not getting along can be grounds enough for being granted a divorce. However, every divorce has a few major hoops to jump through before being granted. Your spouse’s resistance to cooperate can be the biggest hurdle on the path to ending your marriage.
What Is No-Fault Divorce?
A no-fault divorce is one where a couple dissolves their marriage by mutual consent, based on something like “irreconcilable differences,” rather than requiring one spouse to accuse the other of adultery, abuse, imprisonment, or abandonment. New York became the last state to adopt no-fault divorce laws in 2010; however, divorce trials around the country can still be lengthy, so don’t expect an easy split. If your spouse refuses to cooperate — or they’re nowhere to be found — you can still divorce them. It will likely be a longer process in this case, but you can’t legally be held prisoner to an intolerable marriage.
Getting a Divorce Without Your Spouse’s Signature
Getting a divorce when your spouse is uncooperative — or completely M.I.A. — will be a longer process, but it is possible. Contested divorces — ones where issues remain to be resolved — are much more difficult than those where couples agree on how split their assets (let alone agree to divorce in the first place). In some states you must serve divorce papers in person. Usually, however, states may permit serving papers by publication (in the newspaper) or having them served by someone else. If you can’t find your prospective ex, you must show the court that you have exercised due diligence in trying to locate them. Do you have common friends? Have you contacted their relatives? Are they on Facebook? Be prepared to answer these questions when the judge asks.
What If I’m the One Who Doesn’t Want A Divorce?
Your spouse cannot easily divorce you without your knowledge; the court will do all it can to make sure measures are taken to serve you with papers. If you refuse to respond to your spouse’s divorce petition, it will delay the process, but not prevent divorce altogether. If you think refusing to sign papers is a great way to punish your wannabe ex, the joke’s on you; your spouse may be able to obtain a default against you within 20 or 30 days after you are served, curtailing your rights to spousal support, child support, and property (including retirement benefits).
Many things can delay the divorce process, but eventually the marriage can be legally ended whether all parties involved like it or not.
15 comments
Kat
Hi, i am now at the end of my divorce process my spouse defaulted his signature. We have one child and no properties. The case is in Queens County with the judge awaiting review and signature. It has been over a month since the judge has been given the case. I called the Queens county Matrimonial they are so rude and not very helpful. How long does it take to get sign?
Matthew Cooke
Hi Kat, It sounds like you have several legal questions that would be best answered by a lawyer in our free Q&A forum. Lawyers do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum -- usually within 12 hours. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. You can also browse previously asked questions and lawyer answers, or read legal guides that may answer your questions, here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. I hope this is helpful!
anon
I moved out from his mother's house, because his family abuses me all the time and he refuse to move out saying he is a last born. I have two kids , the first one is 18 and the other is 12. When I move out from his home I was going to hospital , when I return I went back straight to home. I therefore sent my kids to go and collect my clothes. He got angry and brought the rest of the clothes. Then he said that I took my assets. I need clarity on this issue. He is a government employee and I am working at a small company with no pension.
Matthew Cooke
It sounds like you have several legal questions that would be best answered by a lawyer in our free Q&A forum. Lawyers do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum -- usually within 12 hours. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. You can also browse previously asked questions and lawyer answers, or read legal guides that may answer your questions, here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. I hope this is helpful!
Natalie Thompson
I wanna divorce my husband but dobt know his where abouts how much will it be incontested no kids no assets
Matthew Cooke
Hi Natalie, It sounds like you have several legal questions that would be best answered by a lawyer in our free Q&A forum. Lawyers do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum -- usually within 12 hours. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. You can also browse previously asked questions and lawyer answers, or read legal guides that may answer your questions, here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. Hope that helps.
Rosia
Hi I am Mrs rosia bashaj I married my husband I got separate from him 10 year he got visa after 2 year to remain in uk he never told me about devoice managed to bring second wife to UK even not be told it is wrong if law give him pemission to allowed that'
Kamal
I want a divorce from my wife but she went to different country and no connection for almost a year , I try sending divorce papers to family but no response . I called her brother , no response. How can I proceed as I want to get marry to my present gf . Can this be annulled. How , pls guide me
Matthew Cooke
Hi Kamal, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I would recommend locating an attorney using Avvo's Legal Directory. You can search by practice area as well as location to find one close to you. Avvo profiles contain an attorney’s experience as well as client and peer reviews. Many offer free consultations, so be sure to ask if you decide to contact them on your own or through Avvo. Here’s the link to get started on your search: http://www.avvo.com/find-a-lawyer I hope this is helpful!
debra
I have been trying to divorce my spouse for over a year now. I filed papers with the court but the papers for rejected because of the way I served him. I have since had him served the correct way but the court will not give me any information as to how I should proceed. He walked out on me and my kids 4 years ago and has since moved to Las Vegas with his future child bride. He clearly states on his Facebook age that he is engaged but refuses to sign papers consenting to the divorce. He does not acknowledge me or my children. I can not afford to hire a lawyer. What are my options? How can I finally get divorced and away from this man? Please help!!
Matthew Cooke
Hi Debra, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like you have several legal questions that would be best answered by a lawyer in our free Q&A forum. Lawyers do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum -- usually within 12 hours. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. You can also browse previously asked questions and lawyer answers, or read legal guides that may answer your questions, here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. I hope this is helpful! Kindly, Matthew
Vincent almeida
What if u get merried to somebody that never got divorced from a prior marriage
Danielle Post
Hi Vincent, Your legal question would be best answered by an attorney in our free Q&A forum. Attorneys do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum, usually within 12 hours. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. Avvo also offers a wealth of legal information in our Knowledge Base here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. I hope this is helpful!
shannon
My husband and I were married in 2007. Two days after we got married he committed a crime and is now in prison serving a 25 year sentence and he also has nine detainers to where after he is finished with this he will have to go to the other states and counties. Is it too late being almost seven years for it to be annulled? Does he have to sign the papers for a divorce or can I do it myself? What can I do?
Danielle Post
Hi Shannon, It sounds like you have several legal questions that would be best answered by an attorney in our free Q&A forum. Attorneys do not provide advice through our blog, but they do in the forum, usually within the first day or two of posting. All questions are open to answers for seven days. You can post your questions here when you're ready: http://www.avvo.com/ask-a-lawyer. Avvo also offers a wealth of legal information in our Knowledge Base here: http://www.avvo.com/free-legal-advice. I hope this is helpful! Kindly, Danielle