Dating your ex? How to protect yourself this time around

Relationships, Money

Rekindling the fire with your ex, especially if you were married at a young age, is not without risk—as your friends will surely remind you. But, scientifically speaking, yearning to rekindle an intimate relationship is also perfectly normal.

In fact, we’re wired for it.

The neurological attachment between young lovers can be as strong as the attachment a baby forms with its mother. And such feelings trigger the brain’s dopamine system—a key driver to repeat pleasurable experiences.

Cautious optimism

So, you’ve reconnected. Now what? If some time has passed, you may be in significantly different economic situations. Maybe you both are earning substantially more money now. Or, conversely, maybe only one of you is better off financially.

Perhaps back when you tied the knot, the idea of getting on the same page financially seemed less important. But you have the benefit of hindsight now. So if the dopamine has kicked in and things are progressing toward remarriage, it might be prudent to discuss a prenup.

It’s not just your earnings to consider. Are you both property owners? Did your spouse keep the property as part of your divorce settlement? What if you move back in together? Should you get your name back on the deed? If you had children, and custody was an issue, how will this rekindled romance affect that part of the equation?

As you can see, this can get complicated fast. But love is love, and regardless of what anyone says, it’s possible to make it work the second time. However, on a practical level and given past experience, it’s probably best to consult a family law attorney. The best scenario would involve going with your partner, allowing you both to sift through any difficult issues before they threaten to undermine what could be a blessed reunion.