6 examples of why booze and weddings don’t mix

Relationships, Celebrity, Funny, NakedLaw

Weddings and alcohol often go hand-in-hand. Guests flock to the open bar and toss back a few in honor of the bride and groom. But while booze can enhance the celebration, it also has the potential to wreak havoc on the event. Here are six alcohol-infused wedding disasters, some involving famous people, some not, to act as cautionary tales for those looking to walk down the aisle in the near future:

Drunk enough to fight, too drunk to care

The relationship between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West has been known to include its share of drama, so why would their wedding prove any different? Guest Chrissy Teigen was so drunk at the reception that she was unable to contain emotional outbursts toward husband John Legend. Kardashian assured Teigen that her behavior didn’t “ruin” the big day because everyone was too drunk to notice. “I feel like there were so many fights at our wedding,” exclaimed Kardashian. “Everyone was so wasted.”

If one of those wasted guests makes their way home by getting behind the wheel of the car, are the bride and groom responsible if an accident results? Possibly.

Throwing punches (and lobsters!)

When former Newcastle United soccer player Danny Guthrie got married, the steady flow of alcohol turned the classy event into a raucous free-for-all. Guests were throwing lobster thermidor at each other, and one of them punched the bride herself right in the face.

The Daily Telegraph reported that local police were contacted three times during the reception and finally arrived at 2:25 am to break up the wedding disaster. Staff at Allerton Castle, where the event was held, told the Telegraph that guests “behaved like peasants with money.”

Definitely a case where wedding insurance might have been a good idea.

Drunken first aid

Sofia Vergara is known for hard partying, and her wedding was no exception. The Modern Family actress prepared for extreme drunkenness by contracting to have an “IV station” on standby to rehydrate guests who’d had too much to drink. “They had a little ambulance truck where you could go to get IV hydration,” costar Julie Bowen told Ellen DeGeneres.

“If you’ve ever been to a Sofia event it’s three days,” Bowen said. “It’s like a slow-moving trolley: You jump on, you drink and you dance, and then you jump off. It’s a party train. It’s insanity. And it’s really fun.”

Drunk, dancing, and caught on tape

The internet abounds with other examples of the non-celebrity variety, detailing all manner of disastrous wedding behavior. Many videos, for instance, purport to capture reception fiascos in real time. One example, with over 1.6 million page views, depicts a wedding guest who took to the dance floor with a cocktail, then managed to take down the reception tent (and give the bride a bloody nose).

The video may or may not be legitimate, but then again much of our everyday lives are being recorded even where we think it isn’t. Like in retail store dressing rooms, for instance.

Mom’s drunken seal of disapproval

One woman who asked to remain anonymous (we’ll call her “Allie”) related the story of her first wedding, at which her mother proved to be the life of the party, thanks to an open bar. “My mother got loaded,” says Allie. “She was so drunk she danced on and kissed a female wedding guest. She missed our cake-cutting because she was in the parking lot with her vomiting friend, and she walked up to my father—who was with his wife of 25 years—and said, ‘I never should have left you! I loved you so much!’”

Was Mom’s behavior an omen of bad things to come? Perhaps. When Allie’s marriage ended in divorce, Mom simply commented, “See? It’s like what happened at the wedding doesn’t even matter.”

Taking shots while doing shots

Other cases are detailed in public forums, like Reddit. “My uncle, who was doubling as the photographer, fell through a wall because he was so drunk,” laments one user. “He also loaded all of his film wrong and no pictures came out.”

You might let a drunken uncle off the hook, but when a hired wedding professional imbibes and falls down on the job (literally or figuratively), they might be held liable.

Don’t mix “I do” with “I’ll have another”

And finally, a reminder that alcohol doesn’t just affect the wedding guests; boozy decision making can be the motivating factor of the wedding itself. While we may never know for sure, it’s plausible that alcohol helped fuel the rash nuptials of these celebs:

  • Britney Spears and Jason Alexander wed at The Little White Wedding Chapel in Vegas. The marriage was annulled 55 hours later.
  • Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee decided to get hitched after knowing each other for a whole four days.
  • Dennis Rodman admitted he was straight-up drunk when he married Carmen Electra in Vegas. Their union was annulled after nine days.
  • Janeane Garofalo wed Robert Cohen in Vegas and thought it was a joke. She didn’t even know the marriage was legal until years later, when Cohen attempted to get (re-)married!