A review of websites devoted to child safety (like this one) reveals a perilous world full of tipping bookcases, lead paint, prescription drugs and dangerous seat belts. It’s astonishing that anybody over the age of 25 managed to reach adulthood, seeing as how their parents had to rely on common sense instead of the Internet.
Given the infinite hazards, both real and perceived, that go along with being a youngster, lawmakers and school districts across the country pass more regulations ever year in the name of children’s health and safety. Occasionally, these well-meaning mandates go beyond a utilitarian concern for kids and start infringing on privacy or restricting parents’ rights.
Here are just a few of the standouts in the pantheon of ridiculous rules that are attempting to legislate childhood.
1. Forget Those Second-Hand Toys
The federal Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act, which went into effect in February, requires that products intended for children aged 12 and younger be tested for lead (which can cause brain damage) and phthalates (which can cause low birth weight, but obviously not after the child has been born). In many cases, this is good news for parents and children, since it holds manufacturers accountable for creating safer toys and clothing.
Unfortunately, the Act has been disastrous for second-hand retailers of children’s products and the parents who depend on them — that is, poor and middle-class families. According to this article, most second-hand storeowners simply don’t have the resources to conduct expensive testing of the toys and clothes they sell. This law couldn’t have come at a worse time for American families and their children, not to mention the stores that have been put out of business.
2. Teens’ Naughty Self-Portraits = Child Pornography?
Everyone (we hope) can agree that child pornography is bad and that laws protecting children from sleazebags are good. But what happens when the laws are turned against the people they are designed to protect? Last year, prosecutors charged six Pennsylvania teens with child pornography after they texted naked pictures to each other. This was discovered by a teacher, who had confiscated the phone of one of the girls for unrelated reasons.
In 2007, a Florida court found a 16-year-old girl and her 17-year-old boyfriend guilty of “producing, directing or promoting” child pornography because they took pictures of themselves having sex. (The kids didn’t distribute the photos, but one of their parents found them on the computer.)
The moral: Taking naked pictures of yourself is stupid; but it seems like facing pornography charges in court could present a bigger invasion of privacy than the actual pictures.
3. Let No Tooth Go Unbrushed
Good oral hygiene is a beautiful thing, but is it worthy of legislation? The good people of Massachusetts think so: Since January, every daycare provider in the state is legally responsible for brushing the teeth of the children in their care. The state is providing the toothbrushes and toothpaste, but the daycare workers are in charge of making sure the teeth get brushed. According to the comments of this article, orchestrating mass toothbrushing in a daycare setting is a logistical nightmare, especially for very young children who can’t operate a toothbrush on their own.
4. Bottoms Up
It used to be that car seats were just for infants and toddlers. Now, in every state, children as old as 8 (if you live in Wyoming and Tennessee) must use booster seats, which may protect their internal organs from being injured by seat belts in the event of an accident. But in a study of 71 booster seat models, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety gave only 21 the highest safety ranking. Depending on the model of the car and the age of the children, the “wrong” booster seat can actually increase a kid’s chance of being injured. But if parents forgo the booster seat, they run the risk of a hefty fine.
5. Even Walking is Against the Rules
Parents attempting to walk their kids to school in certain of the nation’s school districts have been met by admonishing security guards and school officials.
Citing safety concerns (traffic, sex offenders and whatnot), some schools do not allow children to walk or ride their bikes to school, even if their parents accompany them. This seems at odds with national concerns over childhood obesity and international panic over global warming. Surely there must be a compromise?
2 comments
Amanda
We survived worse prior to 95
RedMane
Unfortunately, the fact that there ARE no comments here strongly indicates that nobody has any complaints about these children's human rights violations!!! They LIKE the way these crazy zero-tolerance regulations and laws are "suffocating" our kids! DAMN modern childhood must SUCK! How is this furnishing our nation with a future communist citizenry? Well, the way 99.9.9.9% of today's kids ( you almost NEVER see kids and teeny boppers riding their bikes, trikes, or rollerblades down the neighborhood streets in modern-day Amerika or Britain ( No I did NOT "mis-spell" that! ) are being brought up by paranoid parents and the community as a whole, they will end up with the belief that freedom is BAD and DANGEROUS and that unquestioning obedience and conformity are GOOD. Most will have been told that sex is the worst, most vile crime imagineable, so they will be VERY uncomfortable doing that bad evil stuff with their husbands ( and wives ). And they will have been groomed to dial 911 should they spot any "stray kids" ( kids walking about not in the presence of their parents )in town!!! Even now, kids, teens, and young women often comment on Matry McFly's inappropriate behavior in Back to the Future!!! I mean SERIOUSLY!!! What is a teenage boy doing hanging out with some weird old "duche-bag" who calls himself Doc Brown?!?! And what is that lawless young pervert DOING kissing his teenage girlfriend like that?!?! Doesn't he know that's what SEX OFFENDERS do?!?! Where are Jennifer's PARENTS?!?! And why doesn't Marty's spineless Dad kick the CRAP out of him for his "llewd behavior?!?!" Why don't the cops arrest Marty AND so-called Doc Brown for their obviously lawless ( if not "deviant" ) behavior?!?! Already, kids, teens, and young women are thinking like that. They've never HEARD of such wild, unruly, lawless behavior! At least today's young adults have some idea what freedom is LIKE! Tomorrow's generation won't have any IDEA! Growing up in "forced seclusion" under paranoid moms and dads, school officials, the cops, and the media, tomorrow's generations will have never KNOWN freedom!!! Thus, they will have never developed an "appetite" for it!!! They already ARE looking at our old movies, like "the Breakfast Club", "E.T.", "Back 2 the Future", and t.v. shows like "The Wonder Years" with skepticism and bewilderment!!! They have no idea what freedom is all about