These words should never go together: Lacerations. Genitals. Four-year-old.
But somehow when an NFL star is the one who used his adult brain to make a choice to use his strong, large adult body to “whoop” his preschooler into appalling injuries like these, many become apologists for his conduct. Including the NFL and his team, the Minnesota Vikings, who kept him on until the public uproar shamed them into suspending running back Adrian Peterson while the legal system runs its course.
I certainly hope the legal system doesn’t run its course the way it usually does for violent celebrities, like Ray Rice who got zero jail time for punching his fiancé in the face, knocking her out, or Chris Brown who got only probation after punching Rihanna in the face and choking her to the point of unconsciousness in 2009, or Robert Blake who was merely fined for killing his wife (not guilty in the criminal case, liable in the civil case).
I’m not surprised that Charles Barkley, the Vikings and the NFL issue supportive statements and take Peterson’s side. Powerful people who make a lot of money for a giant organization like the NFL will always be protected over a tiny nobody who doesn’t make money for anyone. I’ve spent decades representing battered and exploited kids (and adults). When I began, I thought everyone was against child abuse. I quickly learned that in every case family members and authorities rush to protect the abuser, especially a wealthy one, using a series of tired justifications to deny reality. That’s exactly what’s happening now in the Peterson case.
Those excuses make me wonder: who are the children here, and where are the grownups?
Excuses are “Get Out of Jail Free” cards that allow Americans kids to get beaten and abused at horrific levels. The US has one of the worst child abuse records among industrialized nations. Excuses mean that we have ridiculous state laws like Texas’ which allows spankings but not striking children beyond what the community considers “reasonable discipline,” whatever that means.
If everyone in town whips their toddlers, do they all get a pass? In what other area of the law would that be the case? If everyone’s a thief, do I have the green light to loot? That rule does seem to apply to the giant banks that ripped us all off and caused the 2008 financial meltdown, with zero criminal charges following. But I digress.
To its credit, Texas has indicted Peterson on a charge of injury to a child, though it took four months for it to do so, notwithstanding these photos:
Of course, I’m not showing the photos of the child’s genitals, but his scrotum are similarly lacerated and bruised from Peterson’s whipping.
The facts alleged, mostly not denied by Peterson, are that he pulled a branch off a tree, sometimes called a “switch,” removed the leaves and repeatedly struck his son with it.
This is not a spanking. This is not a “swat on the butt.” Words matter … Peterson himself said in a text message to the boy’s mother that “I got kinda good wit the tail end of the switch” and that “the switch was wrapping around hitting I (sic) thigh.” That is a whipping or a beating.
Peterson inflicted numerous visible cuts and bruises to the boy’s back, buttocks, ankles, legs and scrotum. Peterson conceded this in a text: “Got him in nuts once I noticed.” The boy also had defensive wounds to his hands.
I repeat, defensive wounds. On a four-year-old.
The child said “Daddy Peterson hit me on my face,” and said he was worried that Peterson would punch him in the face if he reported the whipping. Mr. Peterson, why did your son have to be threatened into keeping it all a secret if you did nothing wrong? The boy said that Peterson had also hit him with a belt and “there are a lot of belts in Daddy’s closet.” Leaves were stuffed in his mouth, the child said, while Peterson whipped him with his pants down.
Peterson admitted to the police that he had repeatedly “whooped” his son.
How can anyone defend this behavior? And yet many do.
Excuses #1 and 2: “My parents did it to me” and “spanking is good for kids”
Peterson claims his parents hit him with belts and switches, and so he does the same to his children. Numerous witnesses have confirmed this. This is the common “I turned out fine” defense.
If you put lacerations on your son’s genitals, Mr. Peterson, you did not turn out fine. You turned into a batterer who made a choice not to stop the cycle of violence. Your own history of abuse explains but does not excuse your behavior.
Legally and morally, this is no defense at all. Our parents did a lot of stupid, even criminal things either because they didn’t know any better or because they were terrible people. A generation ago, adults didn’t make us wear bike helmets. Some parents let you get drunk with them at age 11. Plenty of dads beat their wives. Some parents smoked cigarettes with the car windows up while we bounced around seatbelt-free in the back seat.
Stop it. Once you’re an adult, the law holds you accountable for your own behavior. Parents have a responsibility to keep up. Twenty years of published research establishes that children who are spanked – just spanked, with a bare hand – are significantly more likely to be aggressive, depressed and suffer longterm emotional and even brain injuries. Add a weapon like a switch, threats of violence if the child tells, and striking his genitals and the damage is far more severe.
Excuse #3: “Everybody does it”
Thirty developed countries ban spanking in schools and homes. The U.S. is not one of them. Why not? Because we live in a culture that condones, even glorifies violence that is considered appalling elsewhere. We tolerate gun deaths at twenty times the rate of the rest of the developed world, for example. And we often allow corporal punishment, foolishly, cruelly, at the expense of the health and happiness of small, vulnerable children.
Adrian Peterson talks like an abuser, blaming his four-year-olds – FOUR-YEAR-OLDS – for the beatings he inflicted on them. Because this wasn’t the only incident. Peterson was previously investigated by child protective services when another child of his came home to his mother with a disturbing scar on his head. He was cleared after he claimed the child hit his own head on the car seat while Peterson was hitting him.
If that makes no sense to you, it shouldn’t. It is entirely foreseeable that a terrified toddler in a car seat will struggle while being hit by a large adult, and that any injuries he incurs in that situation should be the fault of the adult. But Peterson got a pass, and probably felt empowered to go on beating his young children.
Disturbingly, Peterson blamed the beaten child for his own injury:
Mother: “What happened to his head?”
Peterson: “Hit his head on the Carseat.”
Mother: “How does that happen, he got a whoopin in the car.”
Peterson: “Yep.”
Mother: “Why?”
Peterson: “I felt so bad. But he did it his self.”
No, Mr. Peterson, you did that too him. You, the grownup. You, his father. You, who he wants to please more than anything in the world.
There is no infraction a four-year-old can commit that merits a beating, just as there is nothing a woman can say that justifies her being punched in the face. But what was this poor child’s alleged offense? Cussing to a sibling, according to Peterson. I wonder where he learned that?
Enough excuses. Adrian Peterson should be fully prosecuted for his sickening conduct against his own children. And everyone who makes excuses for him is an accessory to child abuse.
The views and opinions expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of Avvo.
Photo: Wikipedia
Related Articles:
20 comments
Deidre
These whippings need to be stopped. Yes my parents whipped me and my brothers with a switch. We'd have to pick it ourselves and then take off all our clothes because we always had to be naked for a whipping. It was horrible and we'd have bleeding welts. Throw these parents in jail and save the kids.
Gary Lester
Wow ! Lisa let it all hang out, Great article and commentary.
I wonder if this could turned into an Assault charge.
Robert
Norma, please report it. Forward his statistics to me and I'll report it. I'm a single father and I'm telling you there's no justification at all for his actions. I've only had to spank my children twice in eleven years when their behavior was horrible and dangerous and I felt compelled to stop their actions before they caused themselves harm and even then it was one, ONE, swat on the rear while clothed with an open hand. What he's doing is called Abuse.
Kitty O’Steen
Great article by Lisa Bloom. Says everything that needs to be said. I'm glad to see a lot of people on here get it. Norma, you allowed your "man" to brutalize a defenseless child. Please make a call to children's services if you know where they are living.
Shannon Thompson
First off, I'll preface this with my strong opinion, that Adrian Peterson has gone way beyond what most people would consider, reasonable and prudent, discipline of a child! That, however, is about the only thing I agree on, in this article.
If I hadn't been spanked as a child, I wouldn't have half, of the knowledge and respect for people, that I have today.
My parents ruled, with an iron fist and a heart of gold. I was spanked with hands, wooden spoons and a belt, but I never once, felt abused or unloved. I felt the exact opposite, my parents would cry, every time we had to be disciplined. We knew that we had done wrong and not only, were we disciplined, we were spoken to afterwards with an apology for being disciplined and an explanation, for why we were disciplined and what was expected of us in the future.
I condone that type of discipline, because it made me the kind, caring, respectful and compassionate man, that I am!
This article, seems to be a witch hunt, towards anyone that could be so inhumane and discipline their child with a spanking.
Therine lies the problem. The author states that physical discipline of a child, breeds more violence, shootings, gang violence, rape, murder, etc. I believe that the lack of proper discipline and the extreme lack of love, patience, understanding and respect, to guide these kids, to become strong, respectful and involved, members of society.
The author suggests, that anyone, that would ever, raise their hand to a child, regardless of what circumstances, the author thinks she knows, should be locked up and have the key thrown away.
Do you want to stop the gang violence, assaults, rapes, murders, etc? Take a long, hard look, at the way that you raise your own children, because I can almost surely tell you, your time-outs, talking to's and flat out, ignorance of your children's actions, are causing them more harm, than the most savage of beatings. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away! Would you ignore it, if you found a lump on your body, if you felt weak, or sick, or would ignore it, if one of your children, had the same symtoms? I can tell you that any reasonable human, would shout a resounding NO! Ignoring a cancer, will never make it go away, it will, undoubtably spread and cause certain death.
The simple fact, is that our society, is so quick to judge, when they see someone discipline their child, that they don't take the time to think about the things they don't see. Does this parent, follow the discipline, with love, respect and a lesson as to why a spanking was warranted? Do you just see what's on the surface and try to dictate, how everyone, should raise their own children.
I've been disciplined properly by my parents, as well as, seen abuse first hand, at the hands of a close, former friends father, who was also, a raging alcoholic, who used violence, to get out, his frustrations with life, low self esteem and whatever else, was bugging him that day. I remember one situation, that I thought, he was going to break my leg!
My parents form of discipline, gave me strength, self confidence and a strong constitution, needed to always do the right thing, be honest and loyal and finally, to be caring, respectful and considerate of others.
I truly hope, that my comments, have given even one of you, a different point of view and hopefully, given you a different method in raising the next generations to show the proper respect and values that our country and the world, so desperately needs. Stop raising your kids to have the world and Government, solve their issues. Giving your child a tablet, a tv, or a phone, may get them to be quiet and cooperative, but it will never teach them, the valuable life lessons, that can only be obtained, through proper guidance, discipline and most importantly, LOVE!!!
Thank you Dad and Mom, for everything you've ever taught me.
yvette
I was extremely concerned when I read Norma's post. If you know about child abuse and do nothing ... You are also a huge part of the problem. In my state you'd also be breaking the law. Please don't let this child continue to suffer. Call the police or child services.
jontrey
It makes me sick to think about what AP did to that 4yr.old ! AP should go to prison !
jontrey
Don't forget hitting and abusing a man is also wrong !
reye
Ben Roethlisberger rapes, not 1, not 2, but three women and because he's won a Super Bowl, he is given a free pass. Wow! The thinks you people prioritize and the things you ignore.
Grammieof3
I am so disgusted by the abuse being reported lately by these men, I don't care who you are, hitting a child or woman is wrong and they should be held accountable, otherwise it will continue, children need to know they are safe and loved, if you can't do this, DON'T HAVE BABIES, you have no right to harm any child, the laws have got to change to show these abusers they abusers there will be consequences for your actions!!
kurt larson
Its apalling what Peterson did and even worse is the positive response given by so many people like it's ok to do this and yes abuse must stop most of my trust in the system left in the Simpson case when oj killed 2 people and was set free and we all no people with money can get away with anything
steve
Good article. And i agree with 90% of it... two issues for me...
One, at least where I live (and i have worked in the justice system for years and seen this first hand too many times)... it's not just the rich and famous that don't go to jail... very few criminals where I live go to jail. Regardless of their crime. The prison is full and EVERYONE gets probation. A murder is worth 10 years in jail, 7 after "good time".
Domestics, no jail time. Very rarely to assaults (including stabbings and shootings) get charged because the victims don't cooperate and without a victim there is no charge - even in domestics..although the law says to charge, no jury ever convicts without a victim present.
I digress, but my point is, it's not just the rich and famous that get away with crimes - most people who break the law in my part of the country (new england area) get slapped on the wrist over and over again..
Second, I am not entirely against spanking in certain situations. My belief is that it shouldn't be used on a child who is too young to understand what they did wrong and any punishment inflicted should not leave marks/injuries, should not use any weapons, should not closed hand etc. But discipline needs to be instilled and if other forms of punishment (for actual wrongdoings, not crying) do not get the point across then in some situations a spanking might be necessary.
Jim
Someday soon God will take care of these people that abuse our children. The bible says spare the rod spoil the child. He wasn't,t referring to a 4 year old. What he was referring to is not let your children walk all over you. Anyone with a half a brain should know that if your leaving marks, it's to hard. If your 200/300 lbs hitting a child of 35 lbs your going to do damage. Just like on a dog a rolled up paper works with out hurting. It the noise of the paper that gets their attention ,not the trips the doctor,or watching their Dad go to jail , the man they want to be like,the man who,s their idol try raising your voice ,it will show them you mean business. A whack on the butt with your hand is plenty just remember how little they are and how big you are. Your treatment is going to create a child that can,t handle problems as they age. I to left some marks when whipping and never forgave myself,even tho my children did. They now are all parents of my grandchildren and deal with it so the kids learn that everything they do gets a reward ,some they don,t like.
julie
Simply no words for these so called adults. @ Norma I am in tears reading your story. Once you left did you not contact the authorities or the baby girls mother?? That poor little girl is left there to fend for herself. I can't fathom .. Please Lord watch over these helpless children
Eric Schiffer
Superb, Lisa!
Erin
Yes. So much yes to all of that. Thank you for posting.
Norma
So, until a month and a half ago, I had a boyfriend who had a one year old daughter. He used to hit her whenever she would cry or throw a tantrum. The first time I saw it, it made me cringe. I expressed my concern and he (because I learned he was a complete fucking idiot) said she "had to learn that she couldn't get away with crying" and that he had his ass whooped by his mom growing up so it's a perfectly normal way to discipline. And hey, what do I know? I don't have kids!
He only had her three weekends out of the month and he would hit her at least twice a day. He never rocked her before sleeping, he wouldn't play with her much...he just expected her to magically fall asleep on her own and figure out how to play with her toys. The hitting was hard spanks to her bottom. the day before I dumped him, he picked her up by one arm, smacked her butt five or six times and flung her back in the crib. I got up to yell at him and he told me to mind my business.
The next day, I brought up all my concerns and he proceeded to yell at me, then said he wished he could "put a padlock" over my mouth so I could STFU. I immediately grabbed my stuff and my cat and I left. That relationship only lasted four months, and I feel really bad for his kid. If her mom knew he was hitting her like that, the court would revoke his rights immediately.
I know this was a long story, I'm sorry. These NFL stories are just hitting close to home and, while i'm relieved to not have to deal with such an ignorant bozo anymore, I feel terrible for his daughter. If he hits her that hard at a year old, I can't imagine how much harder those hits are gonna get. Oh but on social media, he's like single dad of the year!! It's disgusting.
bob bennett
The photos are sickening and we should pray that justice will be done for all including the child.
Erika Zauzig
This poor child's injuries are Horrendous. Commen sense : When you beat a child, you intend to hurt them physically and psychologically. Adrian Peterson's claims he didn't intend to injure his child and he's not a child abuser are absolutely ridiculous and nauseating.
JA Stern
Societal GUT CHECK------Processing the News
Q: Which perpetrator of the following CRIMES was prosecuted and incarcerated for an extended period? Which one has generated more collective societal outrage?
A. Ray Rice who committed assault/battery-abused an intimate partner (Black woman)
B. Adrian Peterson who committed assault/battery-abused a child (Black 4yr old boy)
C. Michael Vick who committed assault/battery-abused dogs (led financials)
D. Darren Wilson who committed murder of an unarmed teenager (Black man 18yrs)
A: C. Michael Vick who committed assault/battery-abused dogs (led financials)
There are many other examples of each of these. This is NOT cultural- it is societal.
Abuse is about the need for power and control.
Love and Discipline are not.
Abuse leaves physical and emotional wounds.
Love and Discipline do not.
The status of the victims is irrelevant.
The status of the perpetrators is not.
The question is Why does he hit?
The question is NOT why does she stay?
The question is How will a child be protected?
The question is NOT is corporal punishment okay?
The question is Who will help animals recover if they live?
The question is NOT is this a cultural thing we need to forgive?
The question is When will a town and state achieve justice and move forward when its political leaders represent days gone by and battles already won?
The question is NOT what did he do so wrong or why did he run?
#Justice4MikeBrown He had a right to life.
When oppressed people are liberated they celebrate. Have we seen evidence of that? Yes. After the celebration, the problem -solving begins. Let’s look for that. Hope is in change- because change is necessary. To do not, means a black woman, child or man who is harmed is of lesser value to its society than dogs. Dogs are great, but they are not our fellow human beings. Whatever the problem; [agape] LOVE is the Answer. –Jemma Ayn Skyes ©2014